Why?

I spent the day in a recliner as the snow fell and the winds blew, and thought about everything that I could be accomplishing:  Finish a book, work on a new drawing, throw some paint on the canvas, etc.  I found my motivation slipping away like the worn souls of my shoes on the ice.  I wanted to just go home, not work out, and even just call it a day.

I dragged myself into the beloved elliptical, with everything in me screaming to just walk away.  With much resistance and great hesitation, I changed my clothes and slipped on the shoes.  Today would be the same journey, with the same songs (yawn),  and the same sweat flying and desperate prayers being thrown up to Jesus.

Halfway through my gig, my calf felt as though it were being ripped to shreds and my back began to ache.  These were the familiar pains of the body that begged of me to stop, to just give up halfway through.  But desperate for a breakthrough, I pressed on.  I have been asking myself the reasoning behind why I am doing what I am doing.  And a few answers came to mind, with great assurance in tow.

I am not a quitter and can do all things with Jesus in the middle of it.  I believe in myself enough to not let me get in the way, even when it seems an all-out war will break out.  I have dreams that I can't just sleep away.  I will not be defined by how I look or even how I feel, but by the very choices I make each day, small or big.  Yes, today I did not quit and for that I am thankful.