Remembering

Today I remembered.  It's the first time in months that I've remembered.  In fleeting moments of self-gratification something hushed me, the Spirit halted me.  Needing to get on the road to pick up a group of university students who were coming to serve, this morning was a mad dash.  Breakfast-skipped.  All I had was a small bag of chips and a drink, so finally at 4:00 I had lunch.  It was a small quesadilla, my hunger was fierce.  Ready to go order something else, to give into that demanding flesh at a moment's notice (which was very much legitimate and valid), something stopped me.  It was then I remembered.

I remembered my little brothers and sisters in Haiti, the way their smiles lit up a world full of darkness.  I remember the tears in their eyes as they told me of their unrelenting hunger.  I remember how hard it was to eat a simple meal as hungry orphans watched from a distance.  I remembered the way I felt so convicted after living there for 2 weeks for so many reasons but for one in particular.  In Haiti, they eat for survival.  In America, I eat for pleasure.  Thanking God for my simple quesadilla, I remembered.

Tonight I'm at a dinner with friends and colleagues after 7 hours on the road.  It's dessert time around here, cakes and ice cream galore.  While it'd be so simple to cave for a fleeting moment of pleasure, tonight I remember.  And somehow deep within I truly believe that every single choice I make is for better, as long as I stay the course.  And tonight, my "no" is someone else's "yes"...praying that God will feed the hungry children of the world and that somehow, my excess would fill someone else's need.  Thank you Holy Spirit for leading me, I'm forever grateful.  Grace and peace.